BUMMER!

I wish they would just understand me better. You know what? It suck being the youngest. Since primary 2 I'm left at home all alone. I have no friends to talk to. And yes, that's why I'm on the computer and my eye degree goes up. Who bloody cares. I just wish I was better taken care of.

I'm going to be sixteen and when am I going to have my own room?! I wonder if they ever thought about this before I was born. Like, where am I going to sleep. At my bloody fat white thrash sister's room which she doesn't even take care of? You wanna know why this room thingy goes cock up? Because she is not married yet! I'm suppose to have a room already! Even if you're not going to get married at the age of 30, at least go find yourself a own house! But if you're going to stay here, PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOUR OWN ROOM.

IT IS SO IRRITATING WHEN MY SIBLINGS DON'T CLEAN UP THEIR ROOM AND YOU'RE OKAY WITH IT. But when I just slept at their room and goes to the toilet you'll go like.." WHY IS YOUR BROTHER'S ROOM IN A MESS?!" I'M PISSED.

I NEED ATTENTION.

but it's just way too late for that now.

cause i'm not that little girl who'll talk to you about her problems.

i'm much more comfortable with my friends. i'm sorry if this is bloody harsh.

but eversince i was young, all i talk to was my teddy bear and myself.

this is so fcken crazzy.

..SIGHH.

I just wish my life was better than this. I wish that you don't have to go to work and take care of me when i was in primary school so I can't sneak out to the playground until late at night. I wish I didn't have much of freedom..because this is the consequence that im facing. i feel so much far away from you. tell me, what do we ever talk about?

• do u still have money in ur ez link card?
• what time are u going back?
• have u eaten? if not, there's maggie at the cabinets. help yourself.
• did you pass your maths? (no) why cant you be like your siblings?
• you got boyfriend ah? study first!
• why are your bills like this!!!!!!!!!
• clean up the dishes before i get home
• make sure the house is clean
• tidy up your bro bed
• call your brother what time he is going back.. have he eaten?
• when i was your age i was only 47kg

..so tell me..what else do we ever talk about... and even if i tell what i did during camps, YOU DONT EVEN PAY ATTENTION TO ME. I don't even think u realise i was gone..

and now you have a grandson whom you always talk about 24/7. im not jealous.

i just fear of losing the thing between us. im growing old. we're growing old.

and what i know right now is.. i'm growing apart of you.

and it just sounds ironic when he always say that i follow so much of than her.

but what i know is.. among all 4, i'm the most trouble BUT NOT HOPELESS.

- confessions of the youngest